Just for Today: I will review my values in life

About 30 years ago, through a program that our daughter enrolled in as a troubled teenager, we went through several group counseling sessions as her parents, to come to terms with issues we might be facing that would impact our ability to parent. In one of them, we were required to define what values we held, and to define our life’s purpose.

Here is what I defined then as my values, and reaffirm today.

I value:

  1. Creativity, both Divine and human. This includes Creation itself, Reverence for Life in all forms, the beauty of the natural world, art, music, literature. I recognize that fine art, music and literature are rooted in the mysteries and magic of the natural world.
  2. Harmony, life fitting pleasantly. Aside from the obvious musical connection, this includes cooperation, love, honesty, integrity, generosity, security, commitment, family, church, clubs, service, communication and compromise.
  3. Education, being a student for life. This includes an openness of heart, continual learning, exploration and adventure, which leads to growth in mind and spirit.

These make me the person I aim to be. It’s a continuing process, but I want to hang onto my values, no matter what.

Just for Today: I Will Make Music

My teen years were challenging and I often vented my frustrations at home, pounding out my favorite classical compositions on our home piano.

I find playing the keys a valuable release again, now that I’m enrolled in piano lessons as a retiree. It does help. There is music for every mood, and every situation.

Though listening to your favorite play lists helps, I recommend getting involved and making some music of your own.

If you don’t play an instrument, sing along with your preferred artists at the top of your voice. Belt it out. Join friends and sing. Ring some bells. Shake a tambourine.

If we don’t feel it yet, we are likely to soon enough.

Maya Angelou: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. 

Look her up. We will make music now and forever.

 

I will find something beautiful provided by Nature

Last month I attended a few presentations at the Kansas Book Festival in Topeka. The one I remember most was by author and administrator at Haskell Indian Nations University Daniel R. Wildcat. I bought his book, On Indigenuity: Learning the Lessons of Mother Earth, a long essay on what indigenous peoples can teach the rest of us about protecting our miraculous home planet. I have long been concerned about protecting the home we share with all life forms, including people around the world and millions of other species. When greed and lust for power impact the lives of innocents around the world, I am enraged. Destruction of the biosphere that sustains us is now threatened with acceleration. Communities of wild things and minority populations will be the first to feel the impact.

In the early pages of his book, Daniel Wildcat recommended that we should become more familiar with Nature. One thing which compounds and complicates the rampant destruction of our planet is our distance from the elements. We sit inside our comfortable homes in front of screens far too much, and should become more familiar with how the natural world near us is impacted by our decisions and policies. To that end, today I decided I would walk the deer trails on my small patch of virgin tall grass prairie and look for the beauty in Nature. Even if you aren’t close to a 40-acre meadow, you can still take a walk and feel the fresh air and sunshine, listen to whatever birds are in the trees lining the streets, and enjoy the colors of autumn.

These scenes are from my morning walk today.

Sweetgum tree in our front yard, blazing orange.

A fallen Osage orange, with closely fitted puzzle-piece segments. No two alike. Just like people.

One of the two pine trees on our place, laden with pinecones. I keep wondering when the pine bark beetles will invade, but so far we’ve been lucky.

A backlit patch of little bluestem, with fluffs of seeds gleaming like a field of fallen stars.

One of my favorite grasses: Indian grass. The seedheads are still there, though they are far more impressive earlier in the autumn season. This reminds me of Native American writers that I admire, including Daniel Wildcat and Robin Wall Kimmerer. Kimmerer’s book Braiding Sweetgrass changed my life during the Covid shutdown.

Grieve and then Resist

Here we are, one week post-election, one week post D-day (diagnosis day for our flailing democracy.) Most of you share the horror and grief I feel after the count, so I’m “preaching to the choir” so to speak. If you happen to be someone who felt smug and victorious after the tally, I don’t know what to say to you. When my nephew was left homeless after a hurricane ravaged his mountain town (Asheville) 400 miles inland, when cousins in southern California find their neighborhood threatened by raging wildfires, when my Cuban friend’s parents near Havana have been without electricity for weeks, I am dumbstruck to realize so many of my countrymen would vote for an aging insurrectionist, convicted felon, rapist, and conman when one of his first orders of business is to increase the drilling and use of fossil fuels.

Are you one who would object, “But wait, I didn’t vote for him!”  Yet at the same time, you couldn’t bring yourself to vote for the one candidate who had the best chance to defeat the ugliness and destruction that’s bound to happen. Since my first visit abroad in 1977, I have worked to disprove the myth of the “ugly American.” Yet with this election, you have helped engrave it deeper in the history of the world.

Most of my friends, though, feel as I do. We’re compatriots, we’re family in a broad adoptive sense of the word, and I take comfort from our conversations and correspondence. We need each other to talk to, to share our mutual pain, our disbelief, and our fears. It means a lot to me that we have connected, not only during the weeks before November 5, but in the days since. Bolstering friendships has been one positive thing to come from this heartbreak.

A couple of thoughts about the outcome. I find a smidge of agreement on one of the MAGA points, though the target is polar opposite of theirs. We should beware one certain immigrant from South Africa who just bought a president with his billions.

For those who were all about—“Oh, the New World Order! We can’t have that. Biden has those plans in WRITING!”

Welcome to the New World Order. After the election, Elon Musk crowed on his X account, “Novus ordo seclorum” (Latin for New World Order.) And the written plan? Project 2025, which some have claimed was all lies. They aren’t even trying to deny the project now, and it has been in WRITING the whole time.

For the rest of us who are hurting and grieving over what we’ve lost—a country founded on democratic principles—I will say a few words about grief. We’ve probably all faced loss at some earlier point in our lives. As someone intimately familiar with that deepest of human emotions, I will remind you that you are not alone. Please remember that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Allow yourself the privilege to mourn as you are called to, and then join the resistance. I caution you not to blame yourself for the election’s outcome, especially if you did everything you could to prevent the disaster. Try to avoid assigning blame to others, also. There is likely a myriad cluster of circumstances that brought this on us and we will all suffer the consequences together. Some groups will feel it first and worst. We need to support those of our friends who are at greatest risk.

From my own history of loss and recovery, I will offer this: it’s easier in small doses. One day at a time. One hour. Maybe even minute by minute. To that end, I plan to start a thread called, “Just for Today,” in which I’ll share ideas for facing the world and resisting the worst, finding resilience and ways to persevere. If you have ideas to share, let me know.

(See Post #1 Just for Today: I will find something beautiful provided by Nature.)

What a Difference a Smile Makes

One of the starkest contrasts between the presidential candidates of 2024 involves their facial demeanors. While Donald Trump puts on a stern, angry façade, Kamala Harris is often seen smiling. Anger versus joy. Which is really a symbol of strength?

In my personal history, when I feel strong, capable, competent and on-top-of-the-world, I have often completed a difficult goal, like mastery of a Liszt piano composition. What a thrill! My heart is buoyed and I smile easily at anyone and everyone. When I have had a bad day and feel overwhelmed, when I lack confidence in my capabilities, when I doubt myself, I am gruff and sullen, giving off a vibe of anger.

Anger reveals doubt and lack of confidence. It often accompanies people who try to make themselves feel bigger, better, and more important by stripping others of their dignity. People who behave like that are called bullies.

In my world, joy spells confidence and strength.

Remember the childhood fable that describes a contest between the north wind and the sun? The two decide to test their strength and see who can remove a solitary traveler’s coat. The north wind goes first and blows ferociously, outdoing itself in its bid to strip a man of his coat. No matter how hard the wind blows, the man draws his coat closer around himself and clutches it tighter. Then the sun takes a turn. It shines warmly on the traveler until the man sheds his coat voluntarily, soaking up the sunshine.

Joy is like that.

Another area that might need closer scrutiny is the nature of true wealth. Some of the world’s richest men in their acquisition of dollars tend to support the angry, bitter candidate, the one who feels powerful because he can make others miserable.  Where it really counts though, the joyful candidate is far wealthier—in kindness, compassion, and generosity that morph into a wealth of public support, small dollar donations, election volunteers, and crowd sizes at rallies.

Which candidate is wealthier in things that really matter? It’s clear to me that joy yields far greater rewards than anger.

The prevalence of disinformation and misinformation assaulting us from every source—from mainstream media to social media—makes it difficult to determine what is factual and what isn’t. Both sides level accusations at each other that echo distrust, fear of ulterior motives, or conspiracies to gain unlimited power over the country and the world.

How do we know what to believe? How can we find the truth?

Henry David Thoreau, long recognized for his stand on civil disobedience, wrote, “What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn.” I cannot adopt the bitter, vengeful tactics that I find so repulsive. Do Trump supporters view their neighbors, relatives, and co-workers repulsive just because we seek joy in our lives?

It behooves us all to examine with care what we hear and read in our search for underlying truths. For me, the power of joy and the promise it delivers speak very well for truth.

“I’m Not Going to Vote”

I’ve heard that from a few people lately. The reason they give is that they don’t like either candidate. Not one or the other, as if there is only one race on the ballot.

Obviously, they are referring to the presidential race, but there always others on the ballot. Every congressional representative must be elected or re-elected on a two-year schedule. Some US Senators are up for re-election also, though none from Kansas are this year.

The state Senate is a different story. My hometown is electing both state Senator and local representative. These are important races. In addition, there are county, city, precinct and township races, judges at the district level, and judges in the State Appeals court, not to mention a very important State Board of Education race.

You don’t have to vote for the presidential electors if you don’t want to, but consider the races closer to home that will impact your life as much as the presidential outcome—or even more.

Back to the presidential contest. This election cycle has been called one of the most important—if not THE MOST important—election of our lives. There is a lot at stake for us in America, but also for our allies around the world. My personal election history has not been overwhelming. I can’t think of one candidate I ever voted for who thought exactly as I did and listed priorities to match mine. You could say that I have never really “liked” any candidate for president.

Does that mean I didn’t vote? Of course not. Does it mean I shouldn’t have bothered? No way. In my family, thoughtful voting was billed as an adult responsibility. I’d never shirk my duty. In most cases, I cast my presidential vote for the person who most closely aligned with my values. Sometimes it was simply who I thought would do less damage—not so much voting “for” my favorite but voting “against” someone who raised grave concerns in my mind.

This could be such an election for those friends who “don’t like” either candidate. Consider voting against the least desirable ticket. But using the excuse that you don’t like either one is not a valid excuse to ignore voting altogether. We simply must do it. For most of us, our votes are our only voice in this grand self-governing experiment. Though we don’t have a perfect system, it’s better than those of many other countries. I wouldn’t give it up so casually.

Turning to the electoral college, it seems apparent to me that that particular arrangement needs to be revised and updated. Since my first presidential election opportunity (in 1976) I have only once cast my vote for the candidate who captured the state electors to the electoral college. And that was an election which ended up going to the other candidate nationally. In subsequent elections, my vote in sometimes matched the national winner, but the state electors stood for the other candidate. It could be said that my vote for the last 48 years has been pointless. I admit it does get discouraging to think that my vote never really counts for much. But when the candidate I voted for won—even though my electors went the other way—it was exhilarating, though my vote amounted to essentially nothing.

Should I just stop voting in presidential elections? I don’t think so. It’s still important to be an adult and shoulder my responsibilities. To simply not vote is the same as giving up and giving in. Somewhere I read that you aren’t really beaten until you quit trying. So I persevere. And I urge you to do the same. The futures envisioned by each of the 2024 presidential candidates are vastly different—scary as hell in one case.

Which do you want to support?

The Power of Music

Months ago, the local Island Park Productions contracted an evening of music by “The President’s Own” United States Marine Band. As explained in the program, the US Marine Band was established in the year 1798 by an act of Congress. As such, it is the oldest continuously active professional musical group in the country. There are Marine Corps bands at several bases, but there’s only one called “The President’s Own.” Its mission is to provide music for the President of the United States and the Commandant of the US Marine Corps. Since neither of those leaders were present in Winfield last Monday night, the performance by “The President’s Own” US Marine Corps Band was indeed a privileged and special event for us commoners.

The planners were ecstatic to book the Band, and tickets for this free concert became available a month in advance. Most of the music events billed as “Duck Jams” are held at the Amphitheater in Island Park. However, the Marine Corps Band required an indoor venue. The location was to be the local High School auditorium, with limited seating. Though there was no admission charge, tickets were required in order to attend.

We got our tickets early. Noting that they would be honored only until fifteen minutes prior to the concert when any remaining seats would be opened to non-ticket holders, we arrived thirty minutes early. The high school parking lot was already packed with cars, more than I recall ever seeing at any other event. A line of attendees stretched around the auxiliary gymnasium and north, halfway to the office doors. There was no way all these people would fit in the auditorium.

Evidently, the event planners agreed. We made our way to the end of the line, and followed its progression inside, to discover that the venue had shifted to the main gymnasium. Bleachers on three sides were open, and row upon row of chairs were set on the gym floor facing risers at the east end reserved for the Band. Some people brought in camp chairs and set them up at the railings above the bleachers. There was a seat for everyone who came. Nobody was turned away.

We found a place in the bleachers amidst friends and strangers, and awaited the first downbeat. It was an impeccable performance. The musicians filed in, all wearing uniforms of red coats and blue trousers (or for some women, skirts). With the precision one would expect from the US military, the program started exactly on time. For two hours, people from all walks of life, and from every political party tapped and clapped to America’s music. From traditional marches to classical compositions, from jazz to opera, the music lifted our hearts. For the space of two hours, we forgot our differences. We were all Americans, united by this honored military band.

Did the musicians know this is an election year? Undoubtedly. Did they know we were weeks away from what is likely to be the most important election of our lives? Most certainly they did. But it didn’t matter. They brought us an event that was perfect for these times. At the end they played a medley of songs that identified each branch of the US military and asked us to stand for the correct theme if we, or a family member, had served in that branch. For my own family, going back to my parents’ generation in WWII, the branches represented in my family included the army, the navy, the air force and the marines.

The audience provided three standing ovations during the performance—and for each, right then and there, the band performed an additional song that wasn’t in the printed program. For me, the highlight of the evening was the encore solo which the concert moderator sang following her soprano solo from Gounod’s Romeo and Juliet. SSgt Hannah Davis sang “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” a song that bolstered my difficult adolescence and gave me hope as well as strength to keep going years ago. The song itself is from an 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, Carousel, but I learned it two decades later. I hadn’t thought about the song for a long time, but Monday night as SSgt Davis shared its message for everyone in the gym, I thought, “How appropriate.”

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark.

 

At the end of the storm

There’s a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark.

 

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

 

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone.

You’ll never walk alone.

We can all take its message to heart. Those of us in attendance at the US Marine Corps Band concert were Americans, every last one of us. For one magical evening, we were united by music.

What is Quality Life?

“It’s a discovery of your inner landscape when you turn something over and over in your mind until suddenly you see it from a new viewpoint. It involves insight, and is illuminating, sometimes beautiful.”

“The thinker, the writer, the feeler experiences life itself as his best learning tree.”

“A quality life involves awareness, simplicity, magnanimity, and independence.”

-Marvin Swanson

I recently stumbled across a few words from a piano technician I regard highly. We tend to go from “simplicity to complexity to perplexity to harmony,” a poetic sequence of words describing many of life’s quests.

 

Refreshing our Awareness

Marvin was forever seeking “fresh awarenesses of the long-familiar”, as well as ideas on how to accomplish that. Here’s a list:

“How can we work to heighten awareness? (1) a change in our routine; (2) taking time to analyze; (3) writing, painting, photographing, actually performing in the arts; (4) a new view of the familiar. How do you achieve this?

How can we make the familiar stand out in freshness and newness? It often seems to take a change from the ordinary—a change of feelings, of routine, of environment or a change of season.”

-Marvin Swanson

A Definition of Love

 

“Love is affection that endures and enriches in spite of differences. The differences between two people, even the difficulties, help with the enriching too . . . if they work to overcome the latter.”

– Marvin Swanson

For this week celebrating love between spouses, between partners, among friends, and with family members, I share Marvin’s definition of love.