Winter Wanderlust

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I long to be thrust into the cold embrace of a winter wilderness,

To tramp upon the crunch of crusted snow,

To smell the pain of icy air expanding when inhaled

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And feel the softness of a flake of snow as it settles warmly on my frozen nose,

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To open and reclose my brittle lips on teeth which shiver in the biting air,

To feel the nip of winter’s ravenous jaws and wind heed not my heavy winter clothes,

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PICT0612To feel the life-blood freezing in my naked fingers

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and walk on sticks of toes which feel no more;

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PICT0625All this with longing wakens in me when every year the autumn season ends,

The strange emotion which comes just to restless people,

The lonely call of winter wanderlust.

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PICT0628To feel these tiny bits of cold and dying is the best way I can appreciate

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The fire-warmth of a little one-room cabin

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Or the stubborn life within a twisted tree.

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To live within the wildness meant forever

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And realize our whims are not supreme

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But Nature, when the time comes, will reclaim us—

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All this makes up the winter wanderlust.

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After the thrust into a wilderness,

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After tramping on the crunch of crusted snow,

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After blood has frozen in my sticks of fingers and of toes,

After the soft, warm snowflake has melted

From some mysterious heat within my nose,

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After the wind has chilled me to the bone,

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Then comes the culmination of this wanderlust—

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The return to warmth, to shed my icy coat,

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAStand and tingle as the rushing blood thaws out my frozen skin,

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Wince in pain as toe-sticks reawaken, and glow as life returns again.

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This is the essence of the wanderlust.

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To long to suffer in the wilderness,

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To will to make my feet and fingers dead-like,

To greet the icy wind with a welcome thrill,

Ultimately, I renew my life.

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAfter touching death’s cold icy fingers,

To come again and live to love the warmth—

This strange emotion which comes just to restless people,

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To touch the ruthless side of Mother Nature

And love as life returns again—

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This death, and life, with longing wakens in me

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The lonely call of winter wanderlust.

 The lonely call of winter wanderlust.

My Favorite Books

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In his keynote address at the annual Scene Conference for the Kansas Writer’s Association last spring, author William Bernhardt said, “Write.  There is no more important work in the world.”  The point was that the pen is, indeed, more powerful than the sword in creating change throughout our world.  I’ve thought about his statement many times.  How have books impacted my life?  I am amazed to think how my favorite books seem to parallel qualities and events throughout my life.

From primary school days, I still have A Baby for Betsy byAnne GuyThis story of a young girl follows her wish for a younger sibling.  Her parents ended up adopting triplets.  Then I ended up raising three children only weeks apart in age.  Folks called them our triplets.

Favorite grade school books included Molly’s Miracle by Linell Smith.  In this story, an old mare adopts a filly that arrives from a pre-historic land through a tunnel.  Molly names this young eohippus Dawn.  The filly never grows bigger than a cat, and ends up leading the barnyard friends back through the tunnel for an adventure in the dawn of time.  And I chose geology as my major college field.

Jim Kjelgaard wrote books about animals and outdoor life.  Big Red, Irish Red,  and Outlaw Red chronicled stories about Irish setters that enthralled me.  I read all of the Kjelgaard books I could get my hands on.  In Wildlife Cameraman, I learned of an exciting career that supported both my growing love of nature and the intricacies of quality photo shoots.

There were other beloved books from my childhood.  The Incredible Journey, My Side of the Mountain, and Island of the Blue Dolphins shared adventures in the natural world and fed my growing love for travel and nature.

Thoreau’s Walden became important when I pored over literary lists for college-bound students. “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived,” wrote Thoreau.  Nor did I want to live a life that became empty and meaningless through the years

Tolkien’s The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy kept me entertained for months as I trekked with Bilbo and Frodo through middle earth.

Thor Heyerdahl’s records of adventures in the south Pacific fascinated me with his “back to nature” ideas in Kon Tiki  and Fatu Hiva.

W.H. Hudson’s Green Mansions told the story of Rima, an arboreal maid of the Venezuelan rain forest who designed her garments from spider webs.

As a college student during the seventies, I took a general education class called “Can Man Survive?”   This course used books like Aldo Leopold’s Sand County Almanac and E.F. Schumacher’s Small Is Beautiful as texts.  The experience nurtured what would become a life-long advocacy for Earth care and environmentalism.

Early in my adulthood, The Secret Life of Plants by Tompkins and Bird impacted my relationship with other living things.

Adam Daniel Finnerty’s No More Plastic Jesus changed my life through its pledge to live by teachings of the master.

“‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink?  And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing?  And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’  And He will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’”  Matthew 25: 37-40

For an escape into historical fiction, nothing appealed to me more than M. M. Kaye’s novels of India in the 1800’s.  Far Pavilions inspired my visit to India in 2008, where I slept in palaces such as those described in her pages.  I walked in Ashok’s and Anjuli’s footprints on the parapets of fortresses.

An article in a writing magazine urged me to read Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard to study mastery of literary art.  Her vivid descriptions of life in the woods filled me with awe for her skill.

Most recently, Bill McKibben’s prophetic words in Eaarth have renewed my quest to take a stand for the planet I love.

The discovery of The Green Biblewith more than a thousand references of God’s love of creation printed in green letters, revived my respect for Scripture.  The green letters in this version highlight how God and Jesus interact with and care for all of creation, how the elements of nature are interdependent, how nature responds to God, and how we are charged with the care of creation.

We have been blessed with a jewel among the stars in the universe.  We absolutely must find a way to preserve it for the sake of future generations, plants, wildlife, Irish setters, horses, triplets and everything else that writers may write about today or tomorrow.

Can books shape a life?  They have mine.  William Bernhardt must be right.  There is no more important job on earth than to write.  The words we share have the power to shape lives for generations to come. We should craft our words with care.

Surrounded by Giants

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOn this journey through life, a chance meeting with another person occasionally develops into a unique and treasured friendship.  Today I honor World War II veteran and fellow writer Tom Junkins.

I met Tom at the first writing event I attended following my return to writing.  About the age of my own father, Tom had devoted his waning years to recording his life experiences.  He printed books, bound them, and offered them to his family and friends.  He threw himself enthusiastically into the writing life.

Together we traveled to monthly meetings.  He provided enthusiastic encouragement for my projects.  I helped him produce one of his memoir volumes.  In a conversational voice, Tom’s memoirs recorded his stories as if he spoke to his grandchildren.  When his health declined, he responded with wit and good humor, in the style I came to know as Tom’s unique voice.

He wrote, “On Friday June the third at five in the evening, my right leg went numb.  I called 911.  They put me in an ambulance and sent me to Via Christi, St. Francis.  They landed on me like a bunch of crows on road kill, ran all kinds of scans and tests, and scheduled surgery with a vascular surgeon for Sunday morning to remove a blood clot.”

Our days of writer’s meetings drew to a close with his move to the Veteran’s Home.  Tom still wrote daily, even as he struggled with growing physical limitations.  What have I learned from this writer?  He displayed grace and courage when facing his health issues.  In this way he reminded me of my own father.

But more than that, Tom’s dedication to the written word is testament to the vitality we find in books.  By writing stories for his family, Tom created a gift they can enjoy forever.  As I sit in my office, I am surrounded by books, by journals of my lost parents, and letters from long-gone relatives and friends.  They live through their words.  Their essence and personality shine into my life.  When I read words written by giants of my past, their voices echo in my mind.  And I know they are still with me, in words and in spirit.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOne week ago, Tom Junkins passed from this life. His words speak now only from pages he wrote. With his passing, he joined those giants of my past whose journals and letters provide sustenance for my future. I humbly repost this blog in his honor. I will long remember his enthusiasm for writing. Here’s to you, Tom. May your adventures continue into the next life.

The Creative Life

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I write my life.  Since the age of ten when I wrote my first story and was instantly hooked, I have been infected with a mysterious contagion for which there is no cure.   Writing stories, poems, novel manuscripts and memoirs has been part of my life ever since.  Yet I don’t live to write.  I live.  And I write.  I write my life.

Through young adulthood, curiosity led me to question things.  Whether any purposeful meaning existed or not, I asked, “What does this mean?  Why am I here?  What am I to do with my life?”wren.jpg

The search for answers helped sharpen my powers of observation until nearly everything holds metaphorical parallels to some facet of the human condition.  I watch a moose lunge exhausted through shoulder-deep snow and I learn the dangers of choosing an easy path.

I stand in a downpour and hear the rain plummet from heaven in one step of the water cycle.  And it spoke to me of cycles in life.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI watch a family of ducks chase madly from one point to another and back again and I see human fads and opinions mirror the whimsical parade of a flock of ducks.

I watch my best friend waste away in a losing battle with cancer and I understand how the growing demands of humanity sap the vitality of our home planet in a similar fashion.

Meadowlarks leap into the wind so they might gain lift and fly away.  And I learn I cannot hide from life.  I must face my own torrential gale of events if I am ever to find the answers to my questions.

Messages from the universe arrive on the dust of a sun beam and the wings of the wind.  As a writer, my task becomes one of interpretation, to paint in words the messages which I hear.

Too restless to be able to handle writing at my desk for hours at a time, I discovered that “The Writing Life” was not for me.  Rather, “The Creative Life” seemed a better term.  What is a creative life?  Just as a blank page begs a poet to fill it with thoughts which will touch a heart, or a computer screen winks with invitation to a novelist, a canvas beckons an artist to paint images that will coax emotion from viewers.  A chunk of granite calls a sculptor to release the figure trapped within.  An ordinary scene invites a photographer to transform its image into beauty with a camera lens.  A composer looks at a blank musical score and hears a new symphony.  A plot of land begs management that will develop its natural beauty.  An empty house is an opportunity for unique self-expression.  And the minutes of each new day invite me to follow my heart and fill those minutes well so that at dusk, I can say, “I wrote my life well today.”

To answer any one of these invitations is to live The Creative Life.  By filling empty spaces with an art form of our passions, we bridge the void from the rest of the universe to the human heart.  So I write my life.  I may take to the Flint Hills of Kansas with my camera strapped to my shoulder.

The Flint Hills.

I may arrange a beautiful melody for the participation and enjoyment of a crowd of people.  Or I may fill empty pages with metaphors.  What emerges is truth.  Or fiction.  Or a combination of both.   After all, someone may need the message delivered on this dawn’s breeze.